Sakura on a Rampage
by SaNdEr-ThE-rUbBeR-bAnDeR
Summary: Please don't let her kill me! Sasuke prayed desperately. But no Sakura's wrath was inevitable, run for your life Sasuke! [Includes Super Milkchan]


Ok! Why am I writing this fanfiction? Good question. It's cuz I'm dying to read something funny and none of the other stories are good enough. either that or the good ones aren't updated whatever. There's always SOMETHING wrong and if I write it I can only blame myself. Isn't that fun? Why don't we all take a moment and blame ourselves for a second. Ok, boring. NEXT!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Sasuke: idiot. What makes you think you can write something good? 

Naruto: Yeah! I'm the only funny one here!

Sasuke: Back off, this is my argument

Naruto: shut up! BAKA!

Sasuke: Naruto, if you don't-

Me: SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU! THIS IS MY STORY AND I DON'T CARE! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE HERE!

* * *

"Why am I stuck with forehead-girl!" Ino shouted. Kakashi replied calmly "Tsunade wanted all the genin teams in on this mission. So if you have problems take it up with her." She grumbled for a while and finally settled on the bright side of things, "Well, at least I have Sasuke-kun!" She said loudly jumping on him. Sasuke's head grew twice his size and he growled at her angrily. She shrunk to half her size and cowered in fear. Sakura wasn't sure whether to be mad at Ino or happy with Sasuke. Her happy-go-lucky personality settled on the latter. "Sasuke, you tell her!" She said happily. Sasuke just said, "Shut up, you're annoying." Sakura was dumbfounded. "Looks like you lost after all, forehead girl." Ino smiled confidently. "Shut up Ino- pig! You-" but she was interrupted by "Hey Sakura-chan! Want some ramen!" And he picked up half the contents of his bowl with his chopsticks and shoved it into her mouth. Disgusted she spit it out again. (Not like she could have swallowed it if she wanted to.) "Damn it, Naruto! Leave me alone!" But Naruto wasn't listening he was too busy crying over the ramen she had spit on the floor. "As I was saying Ino-" but Ino had already walked away. This was going to be a bad day for Sakura. "Ramen-chan!" The others rolled their eyes and kept walking. After Naruto had buried the ramen and said a prayer over it solemnly he joined them. 

_**3 hours later**_

Sakura's feet were aching and she was certain if she had to suffer one more insult from Ino, she would have to be put in an asylum. If Shikamaru said "How troublesome" one more time she would have to be put in an asylum. If Rock lee asked her out one more time she would beg to be put in an asylum just to escape him. Damn, her feet were sooooo sore, and her backpack was sooooo heavy. "Maybe I shouldn't have brought 5 bottles of shampoo." She thought absentmindedly. She was determined not to show her weakness in front of Sasuke though; he would just call her weak.

With some satisfaction, she noticed Ino huffing in the back of the group. "Heh, I'm stronger than Ino!" she smirked and was about to call out "having a tough time, Ino?" when Sasuke walked towards Ino. He wordlessly took her bag from her. Suddenly, she noticed that not being strong did have some good side effects here she was trying desperately not to be weak and Ino got the attention she obviously wanted. "Was she faking it?" Sakura wondered angrily. Ino seemed just fine now and was all over Sasuke exclaiming over how he was such a perfect gentleman, while Sasuke muttered that she was annoying. And then it happened. Rock lee walked towards her and said "Hey Sakura, when we get back do you want to go out with me?" Sakura glared at him. "Yeah, you and eyebrows make a perfect couple! Forehead and eyebrows! Has a nice ring to it don't ya think?" She lowered her head and tried to control herself when, "How troublesome," Shikamaru said from somewhere. She was about to scream her head off when Kakashi said, "Why don't we stay at that inn over there for now?" That idea was so welcoming she managed to control herself but her anger was still there slowly simmering, just one more straw and it would burst.

Kakashi talked to the manager of the inn a young girl named Sande who said it would be all theirs for the day because she had to go see a sick aunt. The girl was over hyper and said things without breaks so that Kakashi had to ask her to repeat it three times. This was too irritating for Sakura she didn't even have a clue what the mission was about, it all felt like a wild goose chase, so she went to her room to avoid getting even more angry.

_**Later**_

Sakura walked out of her room into the hallway. Why was she here? Why on earth was she HERE of all places with NARUTO, INO, and all those other irritating people like that creepy bug kid. And that girl who owned this place… she… is … too hyper. She sighed, why was everyone trying to mess up her life? She walked to the bathroom and washed her face. She really hoped something wouldn't happen to make her lose her temper. Suddenly, she looked up at the mirror and screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Standing behind her was a creepy looking black thing that had dark rays emanating from it. POOF "EH…" Naruto scratched his head, embarrassed. "Naruto…" Sakura muttered angrily with chakra flames all around her. "Sakura, I'm sorry I thought you were…" He started trying to defend himself. But she wasn't listening. "KIAAAA!" She screamed as she hurt him in any way and everyway she could. Ending by stabbing him numerously with her kunai.

"That sounded like Sakura!" Sasuke realized jumping up from his bed. He ran out of his room to join the others who had heard her; Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, etc. They ran up the stairs and stopped dead at the sight of the bleeding bruised Naruto who seemed to be missing a few body parts. With round white orbs for eyes they snuck back down the stairs together hoping Sakura wouldn't notice them. Naruto pulled himself together (miraculously and ran for it.)

* * *

Sasuke realized there was only one thing he could do to escape Sakura's wrath, run as far away as possible. He wasn't the first person to think that though, all the other genins were already zooming out the door, and noone doubted that if she found them their lives would be cut short, very short. Sasuke hid under a bush and cried like he hadn't cried since his clan had been killed, he cried in fear. "Dear God, if you exist,

Please don't let her kill me.

Please don't let her kill me

Please don't let her kill me

Please don't let her kill me

Please don't let her kill me

Please don't let her kill me

Please don't let her kill me

Please don't let her kill me." He prayed silently with his eyes shut tight. Suddenly a scream rang out through the forest, "PLEASE DON'T LET HER KILL ME!"

* * *

Naruto ran and ran and ran he wasn't even on the Earth anymore, he was on Pluto. "Huff, huff, I should be safe here," Naruto whispered hugging his knees against his chest. The silence was creepy but not as creepy as the thought of going back to Sakura. Suddenly, "Naruto. . . " The creepy voice came from behind him. Scared, Naruto turned slowly and saw Sakura's giant head behind him. Her wide open mouth was huge and her head was bigger than Pluto."WAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Naruto screamed running as fast as he could terrified tears trailing behind him, but there was no way that he could escape from that big head, that pink hair, that menacing grin, that huge fore head. So… he jumped off Pluto. We'll go back to Naruto later to see where he ended up.

* * *

"Come on, Ino!" Ino told herself while crouching in the inn's basement. "This is Sakura you are talking about! You can't lose to her! She's a weakling, pathetic, forehead girl! Come on, come on!" Her courage refused to come back, she was shaking so hard her scrunchie fell out of her hair, her Konoha forehead protector fell to the floor, and she was kneeling in a pool of sweat. "Ino…" came a voice. "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" She screamed and ran out of there as fast as possible her long hair trailing behind her. The instant she slammed the door behind her she wished she hadn't. There was Sakura. But she was totally calm she wasn't extra creepy or angry or anything just standing there. "Ino?" She asked. Ino wasn't sure what to say, she settled for letting her knees knock against each other and gulping. Sakura continued anyway "I … I know what you were thinking." Suddenly her expressions grew angry again and she became ten times her size.

She grabbed Ino By the collar of her shirt and threw her against the wall. "SAY AGAIN I HAVE A WIDE FOREHEAD! WHY DON"T YOU!" Ino fainted on the floor and Sakura jumped on her violently as if she were a trampoline. Then… she moved on to her next victim.

* * *

Sasuke was kneeling in the bushes, still praying.

* * *

Naruto was still falling.

* * *

So we move on to Shikamaru! Shikamaru was kneeling in the basement since everyone else had run out the door she'd be too busy running after them to bother with him. He sighed, "running away was troublesome, but dying was even more trouble. Suddenly CLING! He heard the sound of metal hitting the floor. Wait the only metal that made that sort of sound is used to create forehead protectors. That forehead protector fell from about 3.245561 feet. Whoever was wearing it was really short. Unless… Ino! She wears her forehead protector around her waist, so… "Ino?" He called softly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" She ran out the door. Definitely Ino. He waited, and waited… "There's not even any clouds to watch" He thought, irritated. "Stupid Sakura…" He mumbled. "Stupid, dumb, ugly, troublesome girl." He finished with some contempt. Suddenly the roof started shaking; dust and debris fell on Shikamaru's face and in his eyes. "Damn you, Shikamaru!" He heard Sakura's voice say. Way above his head on the roof, were Sakura and a billion replications of herself jumping on the roof. No exaggeration. 'Damn!" Shikamaru thought 'The roof's going to fall in!'

He ran like there is no tomorrow no amount of brains could get him out of this one. Oh no!

And not even his frilly clouds could calm his terrified heart! "Run shika! Run Shika! RUN SHIKAMARU!" The inner personality he never knew he had screamed.

He ran out of the building, faster than he ever thought was possible. He tripped over a root from a tree and before he could get away, she was there. His genius 200 IQ mind knew it was too late for him. His terrified shriek of pain exploded through the night sky.

* * *

Sasuke was still praying.

* * *

Naruto was falling and falling and falling. Suddenly he fell into somebody's house. 'Where am I?' he thought 'Can Sakura find me here?' Then he heard someone shout, "Hurry up, you piece of junk! Where's my breakfast?" Huh? Wait a minute that's – Super milk- chan? "Milk! That's not very nice." A robotic voice called. After a while "Hey Tetsuko, tetsuko! Look its Mr. Shin! Mr. Shin looks his best in his kindergarten outfit!" Milk-chan called. "Mr. Shin? I want to see." Tetsuko replied. "First get my breakfast, you piece of junk." Milk-chan said. Naruto snuck into the living room and watched the show over milk-Chan's shoulder. Mr. Shin was jumping up and down screaming "I'm a Kid! I'm a kid! I'm a kid!" Then "We interrupt this program to bring you this very important announcement from the King's Idea laboratory." Said a news reporter. There was static and then Dr. Eye Patch was on TV! Suddenly Milk called "Hey Tetsuko, its Dr. Eye Patch! Dr. Eye Patch is on TV!" "Dr. Eye Patch?" Tetsuko asked carrying a tray with Milk-Chan's breakfast while Naruto hid behind the couch. "That's the person who created me, how dreamy!" She said. "Hello, from the world of TV. This is the director of the King's Idea Laboratory, Dr. Eye Patch." Suddenly, a picture of Naruto popped up on the screen. "This Earth Boy is a runaway from Earth. He is hiding from a certain pink- haired girl with a wide-forehead." After he said this there was more static than usual and Naruto heard Sakura's savage cry and the sound effects of her tearing the place apart. Then the screen blacked out. "Whoa…" Milk-chan said. In an instant Dr. Eye Patch was back "Oh, by the way, if you happen to see this robot in town please try to lock her up in a room with the pink haired creature. The screams of horror will feel very refreshing." The screen blacked out. "Please let that person not be my daddy." Tetsuko said. After that the doorbell rang. "Hey kid hiding behind my couch, get the door." Milk said. Wondering, how she knew he was there Naruto got up to answer the door. He opened the door, it was Sakura. "Ohaiyo Sa- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" He jumped straight through the roof and through the atmosphere and landed on earth.

* * *

Sasuke was still praying.

* * *

Kakashi walked outside to see how his students were doing and was mildly surprised to see Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Shino, Hinata, Neji, Lee, Naruto, Tenten, Kiba, and Akamaru laying on the grassy plains with Sakura in the middle of them looking down clenching her fists angrily with fumes radiating from all sides. "Good news, guys. We've decided to abandon this mission and go home, I know you're tired but do you think you can make the trip home?" Sakura suddenly looked up and smiled happily. That's wonderful, Kakashi-sensei I'll just go get my things." Saying this she skipped past him happily. Sasuke crawled out of the bushes on hands and knees, stood up still shaking like crazy. "Is… Is it… safe?" He asked his voice trembling. "Hm?" Kakashi said. "Oh, by the way… what happened to the roof? And my books? I can't find them anywhere." Sasuke sank to the floor again relieved and defeated. "She shredded them, every last terrible page." Kakashi was horrified and he fell to the floor with the rest of them, unconscious.

* * *

Sasuke woke up from his dream horrified, he was still shaking. His eyes were wet and he could feel the tears of fear threatening to spill over. He took a shower to calm his nerves got dressed and headed to the meeting place to meet Kakashi and the others. When he got there he was, as usual the first one to arrive but it wasn't long before cheerful, happy Sakura arrived with an "Ohaiyo Sasuke-kun!" He glanced at her and said "Ohaiyo" in his usual monotone. "Hey, do you think when we get back from today's mission we could you know, go out, on a date?" This was definitely Sakura, normal Sakura, he was an idiot to think she could destroy them all, for heaven's sake he was a genius from the Uchiha clan. "You're annoying" he said calmly. She lowered her head and clenched her fists trying to control the tears. His eyes widened instantly and within a moment he was on his knees bowing low to her and said, "I'm sorry Sakura-sama! Please forgive me! I'll do whatever you what! Moshi wake Arimasen! Gomen Nasai!" She was in shock. Naruto walked up right then and asked confused, "Is Sasuke bowing to Sakura or am I still dreaming?" "You tell me" Sakura said. "I had the strangest dream too something to do with Pluto and super milk-chan and Sasuke praying."

* * *

A/N: That's it! Yay! I hope you liked it as much as I do! Moshi Wake Arimasen means I have no excuse for myself. It's a very formal type of apology. It's a one-shot but if you have any ideas for a sequel let me know, I'll work on it. If the grammars messed up don't bother telling me, I don't care. If you liked it, let me know, if not, screw you. Thanx! 


End file.
